It was my dream job, but it was hundreds of miles away.
I always knew that if God opened the doors into the publishing industry, I would have to leave where I was living at the time: Austin, TX. And let me tell you, I love that city! I had incredible community, deep friendships, and a church that challenged and encouraged me. Plus, the food…it’s some of the best in the world. Really, it is.
As soon as I got the offer though, I knew I was leaving. I had been applying to publishing jobs for two years. I knew God opened the door I had been praying for. But would it be worth it? Would it be worth it to leave everything behind to such a great unknown?
Prior to my job interview, 98% of my experience with Colorado had been with the Denver airport. I hated cold weather. I didn’t know a soul in the city or of any churches. It was terrifying, even while exciting. Would I make friends? Would I find a church I loved? Would I survive winter?!?
The Lord was faithful through that season and He continued to remind me of this truth in so many ways. Through scriptures like this one found in Ephesians:
“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.” Ephesians 3:20 (NIV)
But He also spoke to me in one of my love languages: Fiction. In C.S. Lewis’ The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Aslan (the Lion who represents Jesus) has seemingly remained quiet in the land of Narnia as the terrible White Witch has claimed it as her own. Slowly things start to change, the never ending winter begins to melt and true Narnians began to have hope.
Aslan was on the move.
He was on the move in my life too. Did that mean my fear went away? Nope, but it gave me the courage to be brave. Just like in the book, where even though Aslan was moving to destroy the hold the White Witch had over Narnia, the four Pevensies siblings (and array of amazing creatures created by Lewis) still had to fight. They still had to choose to be brave. Safety wasn’t an option. But they had the best guide. One of my favorite lines about Aslan comes from Mr. Beaver, after one of the children asks if this Lion they kept hearing about is safe. He responds: “Safe? Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”
“The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8 (NASB)
It’s been two years now that I’ve called Colorado home and there continues to be plenty of opportunities to choose bravery over safety. Whether it is safety from failure, safety for my feelings, or safety from hurt.
It was pushing through as I searched for months for a church home. It was trusting that God would provide community, trusting that while I hadn’t connected in those first few months through different church groups, it would come. It was pushing through the awkwardness of making new friends (making new friends as an adult is hard!). And yet.
He was and is faithful.
These days? I love my church, my friends, and my community in Colorado. They are a gift to my soul. There’s plenty of times I need to remind myself about this (as life tends to send changes all the time), but I am so thankful the Lord continues to give me the strength to be brave and not safe.
Being brave isn’t fully conquering fear. It will always be there. It’s choosing to not let it stand in the way. It’s not always easy, but I’ve learned it is always worth it. When I don’t want to take that step of faith? I remember my favorite lion Aslan. I remember Who he represents and am reminded I’m not alone, Jesus will always be with me. And I can remember that “He’s wild, you know. Not like a tame lion.”
May we always choose to be wild.
“This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 (NLT)